Having finally embraced the idea of making writing a career, I have started to look into earning some money utilising this skill. Now that my daughter’s GCSEs are nearly finished my excuses are evaporating. I feel I have reached a make or break point and a decision is looming.
In my mind’s eye I should now be an international best seller and have completed my writing course. Instead with only a fifth of the assignments completed and undeveloped ideas for novels swimming around in my mind I feel disappointed.
Perhaps that is what I need to stop being complacent and to take control. Just wishing that the book be written isn’t going to achieve this goal. Imaging achieving my goal doesn’t mean it comes without a lot of effort. It is the fear of failure that is preventing me from making a more committed start. The irony is that this feeling of fear will be what precipitates my failure or inability to achieve my desired outcome of being a famous author.
Don’t get me wrong I certainly can visualise me being interviewed on TV and receiving all sorts of positive reviews. I believe it is within my capability to achieve this and yet I feel blocked when trying to move towards this aim.
Again as I write this comment I realise that I am still missing the point. I need to live as if I have already become a famous author and be grateful for this achievement. Whilst I do practice this idea it is not in a whole-hearted way. I don’t feel it with every part of my being. It is a constant battle to silence that tiny voice inside my head which says you can pretend but you are lying. That tiny destructive voice of self-doubt is like a uncontrolled nuclear reaction poisoning the feelings of achievement.
So today I am going to turn over a new page, pull my finger out, ignore my inner self critic and start crafting the words needed to make my dreams become reality.
Decision Time (Making a Plan)
By the end of the year I will have completed my first draft of 80,000 words and by this time next year i.e June 2018 this manuscript will be ready for submission.
